that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize