Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
