For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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