I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
please don't ironically join a cult
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