check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
