just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
