I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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