Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
