I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We just shotgunned beers for America
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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