i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
