Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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