Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i drank out of a bidet.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
