I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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