you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
