WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Holy shit dude........stairs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
