yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
