This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
