He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
