I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
