What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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