I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize