You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
