Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
