I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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