it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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