with your own penis?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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