so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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