i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
