If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
