I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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