I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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