If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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