i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize