i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
