school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
