paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
