Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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