If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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