I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Randomize
