Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
