I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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