The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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