I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
