Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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