ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
