I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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