lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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