PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
