He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize