No stitches, just platelets and will power
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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