Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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