In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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