my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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