In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
