she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
