I look better un-naked...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
