my sisters under your porch take her home
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
