I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
