OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
