Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
