So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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